When I was searching for my birthfather, there were two possible culprits. My birthmother was a virgin when she arrived in the USA, and as naive as they come. She met a nice man through a cousin, and he asked her to take a stroll on a NY beach. During this walk, he raped her.
After her heart and trust was stolen, she decided that no man would ever take advantage of her again. She had been attracted to an Army man, who wooed her endlessly, and after the horrible beach incident, she decided to pursue a relationship.
So when she found out she was pregnant, she was not sure who my father was. This left me with the difficult task of figuring it out. I found the date rapist first. He was actually a nice old guy, and swore that while he had dated my birthmother, there was no rape. He had heard she was pregnant, and wondered if he might be a father.
When I found him, we had DNA testing done, and the negative result was heartbreaking, as he was truly tickled to have a newfound daughter. We used the Fairfax Identity Lab. I then went on to find my real birthfather, and he never wanted DNA testing. I knew he was the one, and therefore it was not necessary.
While DNA played a factor in my search, it was not the clue that opened the door to my identity. To find my birthmother and both father suspects, took 13 years of pretty hard searching. Today, I am amazed at the level of identity and at the specific surnames that can be found through the process.
A New York Times article from January of this year, tells how adoptee Khrys Vaughan found her distant cousins using a DNA testing company, that not only provided her genetic countries of origin, but also gave her the names and email addresses of distant cousins.
The article suggests that testing can cost anywhere from $99 to more than $500. Most of the companies I found are in the $300 range. While I do not know anything about the reliability of these companies, the Times article mentions two testing companies; Family Tree DNA and 23andMe, claiming that “they have databases that contain samples from 350,000 and 125,000 people.” Those are pretty good odds for a match.
Note: Companies are competing for your DNA dollars. They do NOT share databases, so you might want to be tested by more than one.
My concern with these DNA companies is of course, accuracy. I had the same concerns back when I used DNA to confirm my birthfather’s identity. However, I believe that the process has come a long way, and for those who have tried every other search avenue,, this could at least fill in the blanks as far as your real nationality.
Tread carefully, and ask around before coughing up the cash. I have added links to the two companies mentioned in the article. I may even give this a try in my effort to find my adoptive brother’s family. Of course, if I do, I will report my findings here.
Happy hunting and blessings,